CRUSHED SOUL

A detailed account of self-loathing
by Ahojus Zaid

Synopsis

Crushed Soul is a look inside the mind of a self-destructive man as he loses all hope. Emotionally raw, violent, and profane, this is not a book for the easily offended. Over sixty separate pieces across 4 sections range from Bukowski-esque minimalist poetry to transgressive flash fiction.

Excerpt

A different excerpt appears here every day of the week.

Missing the Point

You think I'm sad about losing a lover, but you're missing the point. It's not about being able to find another lay. It's that now that's all it will ever be. A fuck. Not a lover, not a partner. Not someone to share the rest of my life with. Absolutely not someone to trust. Just a fuck. At best, a step above an inanimate object; at worst, someone to find what's left of my ability to love and destroy it.

You think I'm angry at god, but you're missing the point. It's not that I think god is unfair, it's that I have lost all hope that there could be anything more than this. No heaven, no god, not a god damn fucking thing. No reason to live, no reason to die. But I'm glad you don't understand, because it's hell this way.

You think I drink to forget the pain, but you're missing the point. I want to forget the high, the feeling of love I'll never be able to feel again. The memory of a comforting lie that makes any attempt at feeling loved again an exercise in futility.

Where to Buy

An abridged version of Crushed Soul is available for download in PDF format for free. Click here to download.

Crushed Soul is available in print via print-on-demand from TheBookPatch.

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For bulk orders (10 or more), personalized copies, press inquiries, hate mail, or if you are interested in stocking Crushed Soul in your store, please email ahojus.zaid@gmail.com.

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Front cover image